How do you Measure your Church?

            Probably all of us, particularly ministers sometimes measure our church by factors such as attendance, finances or the amount of programs we offer. Truthfully, these factors should not be ignored.  However, we must be careful not to judge the fruit of our church solely based on these factors.  As a pastor in a small community, I must admit, more than once I’ve been discouraged over programs we cannot offer, and money we cannot give. 

            Recently, through a letter from a new church member I was reminded that while growth, finances and programs are important, there is a much more important factor in our church.  If we have this factor we will be effective regardless of size or programs.  If we don’t have this factor, we will be limited no matter how large or how many programs we offer.  I  call it the ‘grace factor’.  Do you and your church show grace, or do you just talk about it?    

Despite the fact that I have taught and directed children's ministry, led middle school Bible classes, and taught adult Sunday School lessons, I have never experienced something more intimidating and exhausting than stepping foot into a new church.  Even as an experienced church-goer and teacher, I still feel so much anxiety going to church now that I have three young children of my own.  As I look around, I read the expressions of others:  "Are my children an inconvenience?  Are we a model-enough family to be accepted?  Do they think I'm an awful mother who has no control of my children, or do they think I'm a control freak?  Do these people even WANT us here?"

After moving to the area we had a few very tough experiences at finding a church home.  We were told our children would need to be better to participate in certain programs.  Some people incorrectly assumed that I was a single mother.  Others have judged that since my husband is with me only some of the time, that he's not a faithful man of God (even though he ministers to others at his job site on the other side of the world).  I totally understand this line of thought because, at one time, I also found it easy to judge others based upon what I saw.  I believe God gave me children, along with these recent experiences, to realize how profound grace can be. 

When we first started searching for a church, I wanted to have children's ministry programs, Sunday School classes, Wednesday night services - everything that was on my checklist for church.  But something significant was missing.  I just didn't feel at home anywhere that had all the programs I wanted. It was so difficult to look for a church with my husband gone half the time.  And I wept from the heart-breaking experiences I'd had within some of the churches we'd attended. I was lonely and didn't have the local church family I needed to feel like I belonged in this community.  To be honest, I was completely ready to give up. If I had not been part of the more experienced "churched" crowd, or if I had not been a mature enough Christian to realize the blessing I would miss out on if I did not find a church home, I probably would have given up.  

But then we entered the doors of a church where smiles were on the faces of the members of the congregation.  A place where people held conversations with me - people who did not talk down to me when I was there alone with three children, people who showed me that they took pleasure in having us there, REGARDLESS of how my children acted (or how I acted, for that matter!).  And ultimately, just ordinary people in this body of believers would kneel down to look into the face of my children and show them love. I was overcome with emotions just watching it.  And I finally realized... children's ministry is not just what "programs" a church offers. A church can minister to children if they just show them love and patience and kindness and grace.  And when you minister to children, you minister to their parents.

This experience by itself was enough to give me the encouragement I needed to keep trying.  But, in addition to the fact that my children and I were finally accepted and loved unconditionally, when people found out about our family dynamics, they started giving selflessly of themselves.  Church members stepped up to take my youngest to the nursery so that I could worship fully without distraction.  Others offered to help with the children when I needed it while my husband was gone. The pastors cared for my children (more than once!) so that I could have some fellowship time with other women.  After my husband had left for the Philippines, a couple even met my children and I at a restaurant to spend time getting to know us better.  That same couple offered to take care of the children one evening so that my husband could go on a date when he returned! AND THEN they said they wanted to make it a tradition! These are my face-of-grace moments.  (And there are so many more… )

Churched?  Or unchurched?  What does that mean, anyway?  Are we expressing love and joy to those who come into our midst, or are we shutting the door on them simply by the look on our face?  I can tell you, nothing has been as graceful to me as the love that was on the faces of the people attending Carthage Full Gospel Church.  I am deeply moved by the love I've experienced but am also humbled by it.  It makes me want to be a more gracious person just being around you.  The old adage "We lead by example" is so true.  Thank you for teaching me how to be the face of grace to others.

Psalm 115:15,

Brandy